Stories My Father Wrote · The Volumes
For Shan, My Son
The letters, the tributes, and the love he wrote to his boy.
33 pieces · 1 with his original pages
'21 Plus Years' — meeting Barb & Shan's birth (8-12-02)
21 Plus Years
When I first laid eyes on her it was not obvious that we would spend 21 plus years together. A good guess would be one night or two.
Barb was as unchanged when we parted some 21+ years later as she was that night when I met her. She was attractive, tall and slender, and her personality was bursting out all over. Did I say she was blonde? She was.
Off we went. It was a fun excursion of events and parties and we quickly became an item. I have never turned loose of my emotions or let myself go until I met Barb. What caused this? Who knows what magic lies around the corner or the next minute?
There wasn't anything that could predict that we would become a most unusual couple, but hey, that's probably true about all relationships.
It was a little after 3:30 AM when Barb woke me up and said, "I think it's time." Scarcely awake, I managed to ask, "It's time for what?" She said, "you know." She was pregnant and I knew. But, still I was not in a hurry and completed a shower and started to shave because I expected to be at the hospital for a few days. She said, "I think you had better hurry!"
It was February 1, 1973. We had been married since October 1971 and only four months after we had met. We had a new home and we had a Karman Gia Volkswagen convertible. It was a cold morning and the little car would not warm up quickly so we bundled up warmly and got ready to go to the hospital. We had not cleared the subdivision when Barb's fingernails dug into my right arm and she said, "I don't know if we can make it or not."
Varoom, Varoom, Varoom and my hands clenched the steering wheel and we picked up speed on a direct route to the hospital. I was no longer cold and I imagined all of the trouble it would be to stop the car and let Barb birth Shanon in that convertible. Volkswagen had a promotion that they would pay $1,000 to anyone who birthed a child in one of their cars. I didn't know this at the time, but it would not have made any difference. I was sure not up for the job.
When we arrived, Barb was quickly escorted into the delivery waiting room and I was directed to the visitor's waiting room. I heard her yell a couple of times and rushed into the delivery room. She said she wanted a drink of water and I rushed out and brought one back. When the nurse came in she said I could not stay there and not to bring Barb anything else.
In the waiting room I prepared to wait things out. Right away an expectant father began talking to me and telling me his life story. He told me that he waited three days in the visitor's waiting room for his first son and it was one to two days for each of his other three children to arrive. I gathered more magazines and nodded.
"Jones, Jones, " the doctor announced when he entered the waiting room. The other expectant father and I looked up, but did not answer or move. "Casey Jones," the doctor said, and I said, "I'm Casey." "Congratulations Mr. Casey, you have a fine son." I had spent less than 10 minutes in the waiting room.
With jubilation I headed for the hallway and saw Barb and entourage wheeling down the hall. I asked to see him and the nurse who was carrying him moved back the blanket that covered Shanon. It was a rush and I reached for him and the nurse handed him to me without thinking. Wow, I had him in my arms and the world was all right. I leaned over and kissed Barb and said thanks or something like that and the smiles were on everyone's face.
The nurse remembered that she was not supposed to let me hold Shanon and she asked for him back. It was OK and I complied, but walked the rest of the way to the room with all of them.
A few minutes later, I was off to the drug store for cigars and to the florist for flowers for Barb. I called grandparents too. I went to work before eight and met everyone at the bank and announced that Barb and I were proud parents of a little 5 LB 7 oz boy named Shanon.
I can recall all sorts of images of Barb during the 21 plus years we spent together, most of them happy, but the recollection of that February morning was forever imprinted into my mind and memory.
John casey 8-12-02
A Father's Recommendation
To whom it may concern:
This is a little bit about Shan Casey. Please read it.
Before he was born, I wrote a poem to him welcoming him to a world of mystery and adventure fraught with challenge, change, and growth. Before he was eighteen I wrote another poem to him describing how wonderful it was for me that he was in my life and what he meant to me. My, how he had grown in this short span of time. I'm writing another poem, but it isn't finished yet.
Shanon is a marvelous human being. He is quite good at what he does. He is very good at being someone people like to be around. He does things easily, or seems to. He has courage and confidence. He wants to make a difference in the world and I know he will. He is my mentor.
His skills and knowledge of hair design and care is excellent. His style is better than that. His clients like Shan to create, style, and entertain them. He is innovative, creative and spontaneous. His clientele is his resume. He cuts and styles my hair and I get compliments on it. I am sixty!
He always gets along with the staff he is around. They respect him because he treats everyone with respect and dignity.
Please give him an opportunity to tell you about himself and if you believe he is qualified; hire him to be on your staff. If you want me to tell you more about him, I will, but it will probably embarrass him and myself too, with the stuff I can say about him. Call me.
Thank you,
John Casey Shan's dad.
A Letter to Sue — About You
Sue, Hello. Shan was with me for a few days. He was in a combination of work and visit. We talked a lot. My space has a different look. He said it was decluttered.
I'm going to write another book. We sorted stories and put them into folders. There were over 300. Shan will look for a publisher. A package will go to Wil, Mary, Bruce, Eric … and their comments will be used.
A Note to You — Starting the Book
Shan – I'm going to start my book. Outline, theme, introduction. Work daily for one week – introduction. Take out 2 Library Books.
my ego will be exposed. Vanity. There will be an edge about me. I want to go to Comfort, Texas and meet the Dick Cole family. I want to eat real tamales / tacos.
'A Time of My Life' – the anniversary gathering (cont.)
years of togetherness of Jay and Shan. They guests advanced towards them, arms outstretched, smiles on faces and an outpouring of emotions reached crescendos. The party didn’t end. A time of my life stays with me.
A brunch the next morning was a perfect time for a wide awake group to recount their enjoyment of the night before. Small groups (maybe 13) sat at tables and told their favorite moments at the Boston gathering. It as a time to visit and draw closer to each other before their travels would take them home.
On Sunday afternoon narrow streets were lined with food, drink, and novelty vendors in the north area of Boston noted for its festivals. This one had an Italian theme and pasta delights were popular as well as deep fried clams, pastries, ice cream and hats, pins and clothing for little and large Italians. A 34-year veteran of the Boston police force joined our group for a family photo.
Thirteen (it comes up a lot) gathered at a restaurant for Southern Cuisine and again the laughter of happy revelers rang out. One dish, fried green tomatoes over cold black-eyed peas, was barely noticed and hardly touched by one of the important people at the table. The desert was free. A pouring rain outside of the restaurant transformed the street scene into movie set perfect. How happy we were!
By Monday more than half of the gatherers had begun their travel home. There would be a few more tears and hugs to give and get before the last guest left – THE TIME OF THEIR LIFE.
Jre 9/11/2014
'A Time of My Life' – the Jay & Shan vignettes (intro)
Only Jay’s and Shan’s name are in the vignettes and that’s intentional. The sequence may be askew as it was written as a flow of recollections, with order not a priority. The gathering of friends and family in Boston was orchestrated by the two, and as much as they gave their time and focus to make everyone comfortable and have fun, it did not diminish the reason why everyone was there — to see Jay and Shan, interact and love them. Well, they succeeded!
A TIME OF MY LIFE
In the second story of a two hundred year old building was a restaurant overlooking mid town Boston. The late glow of sunlight on Streets below filled with happy celebrators was quite the city scene. Through a 3" floor window of the building across the street the 2" story group could see a hairdresser and her client. In another window, higher up, several people were playing music. The 11 member dinner party raised a toast to salute and greet each other. Jay and Shan were beaming.
After dinner the party upstairs went downstairs and joined street people, heading for a famous pastry shop for delectable and fantastic desserts. Restaurants in that area do not have desserts on their menu because of the pastry shop.
Seated at the outdoor restaurant table in late afternoon shadows of Fenway Park on Friday night was a dozen and a half friends and family of Jay and Shan. The amazing weather ensured that everyone was comfortable. Sparkling conversations and laughter drifted among the group as taste buds were treated superbly. Tinkling of ice in glasses as well as touching rims added to the music of the night. A crescent moon was easily seen between the girders of the stadium. It was a special time.
A Saturday afternoon lunch with Shan and a few others on the Boston waterfront was fun and light. And, when lunch was over, Shan scooted away to take care of errands as the others headed to a 250 passenger sea going boat for a whale watching adventure to the feeding grounds of 20 ton adults and one huge baby whale.
A buzz began as the dressed to the 9’s (at least 8”s) party animals begin to arrive at the beautifully decorated art gallery and reception hall. The theme was “Who said 13 is unlucky” Everyone was stimulated by the atmosphere as well as the diversity of the guests who had came miles for this event. Everyone mingled. Everyone smiled and laughed for the cameras.
Not unexpectedly, Jay and Shan joined hands in front of the group to welcome and greet everyone, saying thanks for coming and being part of a 13" anniversary party. They gave special recognition to their family and for those who helped make the party a special tribute to them. Cheers rang out.
The buzz quieted as the group was directed to a large screen over the music man to view a special photo show of genuine enjoyment and love shared by two amazing humans, Jay and Shan. A dazzling photo album was projected on the screen. Oohs and laughs, plus comments were spontaneous from the group as images of Jay and Shan and others filled the screen. It was a glance of 13 years in the time of the lives of Shan and Jay.
A surprise awaited near the end of the photos. Gasps emitted and tears welled up and spilled from eyes of many as the real reason for attending the party was revealed on the screen. A union, a marriage, had occurred exactly twelve months ago celebrating 13
'A Time of My Life' — intro to the Boston vignettes
Only Jay’s and Shan’s name are in the vignettes and that’s intentional. The sequence may be askew as it was written as a flow of recollections, with order not a priority. The gathering of friends and family in Boston was orchestrated by the two, and as much as they gave their time and focus to make everyone comfortable and have fun, it did not diminish the reason why everyone was there — to see Jay and Shan, interact and love them. Well, they succeeded!
A TIME OF MY LIFE
In the second story of a two hundred year old building was a restaurant overlooking mid town Boston. The late glow of sunlight on Streets below filled with happy celebrators was quite the city scene. Through a 3" floor window of the building across the street the 2™ story group could see a hairdresser and her client. In another window higher up several people was playing music. The 11 member dinner party raised a toast to salute and greet each other. Jay and Shan were beaming.
After dinner the party upstairs went downstairs and joined street people, heading for a famous pastry shop for delectable and fantastic desserts. Restaurants in that area do not have desserts on their menu because of the pastry shop.
Seated at the outdoor restaurant table in late afternoon shadows of Fenway Park on Friday night was a dozen and a half friends and family of Jay and Shan. The amazing weather ensured that everyone was comfortable. Sparkling conversations and laughter drifted among the group as taste buds were treated superbly. Tinkling of ice in glasses as well as touching rims added to the music of the night. A crescent moon was easily seen between the girders of the stadium.
A Saturday afternoon lunch with Shan and a few others on the Boston waterfront was fun and light. And, when lunch was over, Shan scooted away to take care of errands as the others headed to a 250 passenger sea-going boat for a whale watching adventure to the feeding grounds of 20 ton adults and one huge baby hump back whale.
In the early evening invitees to the affair gathered and started to the meeting hall. A buzz began as the dressed to the 9’s (at least 8”s) party animals begin to arrive at the beautifully decorated art gallery and reception hall. The theme was “Who said 13 is unlucky” Everyone was stimulated by the atmosphere as well as the diversity of the guests who had come miles and miles for this event. Everyone mingled. Everyone smiled and laughed for each other and the cameras.
Not unexpectedly, Jay and Shan joined hands in front of the group to welcome and greet everyone, saying thanks for coming and being part of a 13" anniversary party. They gave special recognition to their family and for those who helped make the party a special tribute to them. Cheers rang out.
The buzz quieted as the group was directed to a large screen over the music man to view a special photo show of genuine enjoyment and love shared by two amazing people, Jay and Shan. A dazzling photo album was projected on the screen. Oohs and laughs, plus comments were spontaneous from the group as images of Jay and Shan and others filled the screen. It was a glance of 13 years in the time of the lives of Shan and Jay.
A surprise awaited near the end of the photos. Gasps emitted and tears welled up and spilled from eyes of many as the real reason for attending the party was revealed on
'A Time of My Life' — the Boston 13th-anniversary gathering (jrc 9/11/2014)
…the screen. A union, a marriage, had occurred exactly twelve months ago celebrating 13 years of the togetherness of Jay and Shan. The guests advanced towards them, arms outstretched, smiles on faces and an outpouring of emotions reached crescendos. The party didn't end. A time of my life stays with me.
A brunch the next morning was a perfect time for a wide awake group to recount their enjoyment of the night before. Small groups sat at tables and told their favorite moments of the Boston gathering. It was a time to visit and draw closer to each other before their travels took them home.
On Sunday afternoon narrow streets were lined with food, drink, and novelty vendors in the north area of Boston noted for its festivals. This one was an Italian theme and pasta delights were popular as well as deep fried clams, pastries, ice cream and hats, pins and clothing for little and large Italians. A 34-year veteran of the Boston police force joined our group for a family photo.
Thirteen (it comes up a lot) gathered at a restaurant for Southern Cuisine and again the laughter of happy revelers rang out. One dish, fried green tomatoes over cold black-eyed peas, was barely noticed and hardly touched by one of the important people at the table. His desert was free. A pouring rain outside transformed the street scene into a movie set. Perfect. How happy we were!
By Monday more than half of the gatherers had begun their travel home. There would be a few more tears and hugs to give and get before the last guest left — THE TIME OF THEIR LIFE.
jrc 9/11/2014
Only Jay's and Shan's name are in the vignettes and that's intentional. The sequence may be askew as it was written as a flow of recollections, with order not a priority. The gathering of friends and family in Boston was orchestrated by the two, and as much as they gave their time and focus to make everyone comfortable and have fun, it did not diminish the reason why everyone was there — to see Jay and Shan, interact and love them. Well, they succeeded!
A TIME OF MY LIFE
In the second story of a two hundred year old building was a restaurant overlooking mid town Boston. The late glow of sunlight on streets below filled with happy celebrators was quite the city scene. Through a 3rd floor window of the building across the street the 2nd story group could see a hairdresser and her client. In another window higher up several people was playing music. The 11 member dinner party raised a toast to salute and greet each other. Jay and Shan were beaming.
After dinner the party upstairs went downstairs and joined street people, heading for a famous pastry shop for delectable and fantastic desserts. Restaurants in that area do not have desserts on their menu because of the pastry shop.
Seated at the outdoor restaurant table in late afternoon shadows of Fenway Park on Friday night was a dozen and a half friends and family of Jay and Shan. The amazing weather ensured that everyone was comfortable. Sparkling conversations and laughter drifted among the group as taste buds were treated superbly. Tinkling of ice in glasses as well as touching rims added to the music of the night. A crescent moon was easily seen between the girders of the stadium.
A Saturday afternoon lunch with Shan and a few others on the Boston waterfront was fun and light. And, when lunch was over, Shan scooted away to take care of errands as the others headed to a 250 passenger sea-going boat for a whale watching adventure to the feeding grounds of 20 ton adults and one huge baby hump back whale.
In the early evening invitees to the affair gathered and started to the meeting hall. A buzz began as the dressed to the 9's (at least 8"s) party animals begin to arrive at the beautifully decorated art gallery and reception hall. The theme was "Who said 13 is unlucky" Everyone was stimulated by the atmosphere as well as the diversity of the guests who had come miles and miles for this event. Everyone mingled. Everyone smiled and laughed for each other and the cameras.
Not unexpectedly, Jay and Shan joined hands in front of the group to welcome and greet everyone, saying thanks for coming and being part of a 13th anniversary party. They gave special recognition to their family and for those who helped make the party a special tribute to them. Cheers rang out.
The buzz quieted as the group was directed to a large screen over the music man to view a special photo show of genuine enjoyment and love shared by two amazing people, Jay and Shan. A dazzling photo album was projected on the screen. Oohs and laughs, plus comments were spontaneous from the group as images of Jay and Shan and others filled the screen. It was a glance of 13 years in the time of the lives of Shan and Jay.
A surprise awaited near the end of the photos. Gasps emitted and tears welled up and spilled from eyes of many as the real reason for attending the party was revealed on…
About Shan Casey ('To Whom It May Concern')
His original page — tap to enlarge
To whom it may concern: This is a little bit about Shan Casey. Please read it.
Before he was born, I wrote a poem to him welcoming him to a world of mystery and adventure fraught with challenge, change, and growth. Before he was eighteen I wrote another poem to him describing how wonderful it was for me that he was in my life and what he meant to me. My, how he had grown in this short span of time.
Shanon is a marvelous human being. He is quite good at what he does. He is very good at being someone people like to be around. He does things easily, or seems to. He has courage and confidence. He wants to make a difference in the world and I know he will. He is my mentor.
His skills and knowledge of hair design and care is excellent. His style is better than that. People like Shan to create, style, and entertain them. His clientele is his resume. He cuts and styles my hair and I get compliments on it. I am sixty!
Please give him an opportunity to tell you about himself and if you believe he is qualified; hire him to be on your staff. If you want me to tell you more about him, I'll embarrass him and myself too, with the stuff I can say about him.
Thank you,
John Casey Shan’s dad.
Best Friends for Life
Shan, my life was about nothing for almost thirty years. But then your mother came along and then… You came along and for the next two decades — and I'd check if you're both breathing before I went back to sleep. Can you grasp that?
I'm not afraid of saying I love you.
Even when you didn't play baseball or went to hunt or fish, it's okay. You meant to make models, the Titanic, build model cars, Lego communities, play wild music or wear crazy tee shirts. Maybe I did understand that putting pressure on you to do my things would push you away.
They say that sooner or later the majority of men turn into their fathers. But that isn't true. I went much better for you.
Your grandfathers were different than you and also me. It's likely that those men made a mistake or two during their own parenting. I know I have.
I've wondered and worried about all the times I've embarrassed you: * Wearing shorts with knobby knees showing * Insisting you go fishing with me * Going mad if your grades * Wearing silly hats * Wanting you to fight when you were bullied * Butting in when I didn't know s— * Not listening to your feelings I think you got it.
I wanted for you to find someone to love you who doesn't love you for the person you are, but despite the person you are. I believe you have.
One day I looked away for two seconds and when I turned around you were all grown up. Let me tell you right now. Some of the very, very best days of my life have been being with you.
You'll need best friends. Frodo knew that. Han Solo knew that. You know that. I know that too. So here we are, you and I. Best friends for life.
You're pretty damn creative when it comes down to it, I'll have you know. It wasn't the toys, the clothes or the shoes. You used Play Dough, dinosaurs, Lego cars and houses and acting. You didn't play with cardboard boxes a single time either.
So play. Learn. Keep growing. Follow your passions. Be kind when you can, tough when you need to be. Hold on to your friends. You'll be just fine.
Love, Dad
Boston trip itinerary — Shan & Jay's anniversary, Aug–Sept 2014
Thurs August 28 St. Louis to Boston & Return Sept. 2 August 28, 2014 St. Louis—Terminal 1— US Airways—Flight # 1730—seat 12F Depart: 7:45 AM Arrive: Charlotte: 10.35 AM Charlotte to Boston US Airways—Flight #514—Seat 12F
Depart: 1:10 PM—Seat # 12F
Arrive Boston Terminal B—3:18 PM
RETURN- TUES. SEPT 2, 2014 BOSTON—TERMINAL B Us AIRWAYS—FLIGHT 1799- SEAT 11F DEPART: 2:35 PM—SEAT # 11 F CONGRATULATIONS! ARRIVE: CHARLOTTE—5:00 PM " CHARLOTTE ‘To Sr. Louis US AIRWAYS—FLIGHT #765 SEAT #12F ARRIVE: ST. LOUIS-7:44 PM
TERMINAL 1
For Shan & Jay
Shan & Jay, I am deeply appreciative of all the Care and help you provide to me. I'm humbled. You give me hope. I want my needs to lessen. Shan, I use your words to me, spoken a Long time ago: "It's time you turn and face your problems." I've tried to do that. Sometimes I've failed. Sometimes I've succeeded. Jay, There is no one I trust and respect more than you. I Love you "a bushel and a half — & a peck."
'Happy Days' – Shan's birth & milestones
Happy Days Shan’s birth, February 1, 1973. Shan’s graduation from a recovery program in St. Louis. 2003. My first unassisted bicycle ride Finding a present under a pillow put there by the tooth fairy Catching fire flies in a glass jar in the summer Watching my dad shave Eating a piece of mom’s angel food cake Pitching a no-hitter in a baseball game My first, second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth hole-in-one Skating backwards on roller skates and dancing with my partner A magical first kiss Driving fast cars Doing stand-up comedy in front of an audience who came to see me Taking a nap in the woods amid a plethora of blue bells Getting word that my first story would be published in a magazine A ride in a hot air balloon Winning a chili cook off contest Fishing, hunting, canoeing, running, climbing, swimming, Happiness is a style of life for me. I live happy. It is always a goal
'Happy Days' – Shan's birth (2/1/1973) & her milestones
Happy Days
Shan’s birth, February 1, 1973.
Shan’s graduation from a recovery program in St. Louis. 2003. My first unassisted bicycle ride
Finding a present under a pillow put there by the tooth fairy Catching fire flies in a glass jar in the summer
Watching my dad shave
Eating a piece of mom’s angel food cake
Pitching a no-hitter in a baseball game
My first, second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth hole-in-one
Skating backwards on roller skates and dancing with my partner A magical first kiss
Driving fast cars
Doing stand-up comedy in front of an audience who came to see me Taking a nap in the woods amid a plethora of blue bells
Getting word that my first story would be published in a magazine A ride in a hot air balloon
Winning a chili cook off contest
Fishing, hunting, canoeing, running, climbing, swimming,
Happiness is a style of life for me. | live happy. It is always a goal
'I Have One Son, a Gallant Boy'
up to my ankles / over my head / head over heels / and Lost
Mixed and Stuck, but I persevere. And, We had freedom too. To explore, use imagination, Connect with appreciate nature, work and play. We were of substance. I'd like to think humble and with respect for Everyone and Every Thing.
engaging Personalities, Sparkling and fun in… All I can Say is… I knew a Chance. Quite humble is my Calling.
I have one Son, a gallant boy. Hard Working and honest.
'If you know someone who may want to work for a salon'
If you know someone who may be interested in working for a professional salon, please let them know. It might be a place for them to hang their license. He wants someone who has the skills needed in a salon, is highly ethical, has integrity that comes from a place of deep morality and is compassionate. Kindness is a powerful trait. Shan doesn’t just make every client happy and feel valued, he makes every staff member feel value as well. His salon is attractive, exceptionably clean and is well stocked with products. There’s room for more than one stylist, but one stylist who has a kind nature exceptional skills, good character and is reliable fits nicely and great potential to make some REAL MONEY.
Jay & Shan — Boston
Only Jay’s and Shan’s name are in the vignettes and that’s intentional. The sequence may be askew as it was written as a flow of recollections, with order not a priority. The gathering of friends and family in Boston was orchestrated by the two, and as much as they gave their time and focus to make everyone comfortable and have fun, it did not diminish the reason why everyone was there — to see Jay and Shan, interact and love them. Well, they succeeded!
A TIME OF MY LIFE
In the second story of a two hundred year old building was a restaurant overlooking mid town Boston. The late glow of sunlight on Streets below filled with happy celebrators was quite the city scene. Through a 3" floor window of the building across the street the 2" story group could see a hairdresser and her client. In another window higher up several people was playing music. The 11 member dinner party raised a toast to salute and greet each other. Jay and Shan were beaming.
After dinner the party upstairs went downstairs and joined street people, heading for a famous pastry shop for delectable and fantastic desserts. Restaurants in that area do not have desserts on their menu because of the pastry shop.
Seated at the outdoor restaurant table in late afternoon shadows of Fenway Park on Friday night was a dozen and a half friends and family of Jay and Shan. The amazing weather ensured that everyone was comfortable. Sparkling conversations and laughter drifted among the group as taste buds were treated superbly. Tinkling of ice in glasses as well as touching rims added to the music of the night. A crescent moon was easily seen between the girders of the stadium.
A Saturday afternoon lunch with Shan and a few others on the Boston waterfront was fun and light. And, when lunch was over, Shan scooted away to take care of errands as the others headed to a 250 passenger sea-going boat for a whale watching adventure to the feeding grounds of 20 ton adults and one huge baby hump back whale.
In the early evening invitees to the affair gathered and started to the meeting hall. A buzz began as the dressed to the 9’s (at least 8s) party animals begin to arrive at the beautifully decorated art gallery and reception hall. The theme was “Who said 13 is unlucky” Everyone was stimulated by the atmosphere as well as the diversity of the guests who had come miles and miles for this event. Everyone mingled. Everyone smiled and laughed for each other and the cameras.
Not unexpectedly, Jay and Shan joined hands in front of the group to welcome and greet everyone, saying thanks for coming and being part of a 13" anniversary party. They gave special recognition to their family and for those who helped make the party a special tribute to them. Cheers rang out.
The buzz quieted as the group was directed to a large screen over the music man to view a special photo show of genuine enjoyment and love shared by two amazing people, Jay and Shan. A dazzling photo album was projected on the screen. Oohs and laughs, plus comments were spontaneous from the group as images of Jay and Shan and others filled the screen. It was a glance of 13 years in the time of the lives of Shan and Jay.
A surprise awaited near the end of the photos. Gasps emitted and tears welled up and spilled from eyes of many as the real reason for attending the party was revealed on
the screen. A union, a marriage, had occurred exactly twelve months ago celebrating 13 years of the togetherness of Jay and Shan. The guests advanced towards them, arms outstretched, smiles on faces and an outpouring of emotions reached crescendos. The party didn’t end. A time of my life stays with me.
A brunch the next morning was a perfect time for a wide awake group to recount their enjoyment of the night before. Small groups sat at tables and told their favorite moments of the Boston gathering. It was a time to visit and draw closer to each other before their travels took them home.
On Sunday afternoon narrow streets were lined with food, drink, and novelty vendors in the north area of Boston noted for its festivals. This one was an Italian theme and pasta delights were popular as well as deep fried clams, pastries, ice cream and hats, pins and clothing for little and large Italians. A 34-year veteran of the Boston police force joined our group for a family photo.
Thirteen (it comes up a lot) gathered at a restaurant for Southern Cuisine and again the laughter of happy revelers rang out. One dish, fried green tomatoes over cold black-eyed peas, was barely noticed and hardly touched by one of the important people at the table. His desert was free. A pouring rain outside transformed the street scene into a movie set. Perfect. How happy we were!
By Monday more than half of the gatherers had begun their travel home. There would be a few more tears and hugs to give and get before the last guest left – THE TIME OF THEIR LIFE.
jre 9/11/2014
Jay & Shan — Boston (anniversary)
The original page will appear here.
'John Casey – Shan's Dad' (a profile)
John Casey – Shan’s Dad. Lives in Ill. at Christmas at S&H’s home in W.P. B. Fla. 2021 ‘The observer.’ Stays on the perimeter, not in the midst Sees, listens, meets everyone with a question ask’s them questions Awareness is high, moves slowly, nibbles, sips seems afraid at times Just a hint of being uncomfortable – real or imagined Outside the loop? Intentional? Loves his son and Jay – equally? Yah! Goals: lose timidity regain confidence improve posture declutter let things of insignificance go
Moth Talk
" Talk — Raw — Flow of words —"
If Someone would have told me that my son would have developed into a talker, I'd say, no way. He was present on a few of my talks and showed Little interest in what I had to say — my interests were not his.
Except when he built Lego things — Communities. The first Legos were more fun than Lincoln Logs. I didn't want him to hurry but his pace was Like Speedy Gonzales. Beep-Beep, and the Road Runner, Beep Beep — then he scrambled the Legos and invited me to build whatever they were. He Liked to see me struggle and cheered me on.
My Son had friends that also Liked Legos and often they traded or, even better, Combined the Legos at our home or at his friend's house.
One year he was asked to Learn about trees. Specifically, fruit trees. Now "you're talking" I said as trees fit my interest and I was sure my son would too. I was pleased he would Rather Learn about tree functions and how they were important to people and the world.
My Son had ZERO interest. NONE. Until I asked him if I would Like to see trees that could have different kinds of fruits. "Yea," "how do they do that." His curiosity was strong and I was Enthusiastic.
I had never grafted tree Limbs to trees — any Trees. I had been around Orchards as a boy and Knew all Kinds of fruit they produced. Like Apples, of course, peaches, plums, and Cherries. There were more.
I Looked forward to Learning with my Son and believed his Teacher would Love to see a fruit Tree with different Kinds of Fruit.
My Son was 9 years old when we started the project. I was 40!
The Library became a beginning to Learn to graft Limbs. Orchard Owners took Care of their trees but None had grafted different Kind of fruit.
Someone recommended that I go to a tree nursery. That was good advice.
I Learned the process and Collected Small fruit trees, Sharp blades, grafting tape and how to support the Limbs. Where was my son? He spent maybe 20 minutes with me when he and I started to graft. His interest wasn't strong.
We finished the project; Three kinds of apples, Red, Yellow and green ones were on Our Tree. It was droopy. It earned my son a good grade. Victory.
My Son built a Lego model of The Titanic. It had Lots of pieces — 1500+. His patience was excellent and as he continued to build it the more enthusiasm he had. He Studied the Ship, its passengers and Crew, what happened to it, and what Went wrong.
Later — 30 year — he went to Ireland and visited the ship yard and Museum of The Titanic.
It was displayed in the Lobby of the bank where I worked. It was beautiful, inspiring, and tragic.
His Christmas present in 2021 was a big box filled with Carefully finished pieces of Legos for the Titanic. It was displayed at Christmas.
I've Enjoyed talking to you about a remarkable Son Who, because he Cared about people, Studied not Only the ship Named the Titanic but how it was built and what became of it — Especially, the people.
My Son has owned a hair Salon for ___ years. He's an artist and Creative. He Loves music. He Loves good people.
He never had to Leach, was bold and adventuresome and the Kindest person I've ever Known.
He includes me in his Life.
He includes his friends, family, and strangers in his Life. People Like his Company.
I certainly do!
Thanks,
'My Father's Eyes' — the Eric Clapton song & his dad
My Father’s Eyes A song on one of Eric Clampton’s CD is named, “My Father’s Eyes.” The song reminds me of my father.
After the passing of my mother, I recall my dad in preparation for the gathering of family and friends after my mother’s funeral.
That day I saw in my father’s eyes something that I had never seen before; deep sadness. A single tear in each of his eyes, both bloodshot from lack of sleep, or maybe he was holding back the flood that was there. The day I saw tears in my father’s eyes I began to really know him. He had seemed distant before. I suppose it is a man thing, you love your mom, and you respect your dad – man style. No hugs, no crying together.
My father is a man who only had to hint at punishing us, his children, and we would straighten up quickly. He provided a roof over our head and food on the table. He did not talk much about his emotions but he conveyed volumes.
Deep down I really loved him, but I do not remember telling him so. I had not also remembered telling my mother that I loved her. I regretted that I had not; then, all at once, it was too late.
The song, “My Father’s Eyes,” speaks to me, and reminds me that we become our parents. I only hope I am, or will be, as good a dad as dad was to me. Every day, when I get a chance to tell my son that I love him; I do, because Shan is the light in his father’s eyes.
Martin Luther King and Lorraine Hardy
'Profile of Shan' – fully invested in the salon
Profile of Shan Shan Casey is fully invested in his professional salon and is always alert to trends. fashions, styles, colors, and products. Shan is a work-a-holic when it come to doing what he loves, styling hair and making people happy. Clients get his complete attention. He listens carefully and follows their wants, but he may make suggestions of an alternative He doesn’t hurry or cuts corners because he knows his clients expect him to explain or review what he will do. They want his personal touch and, importantly, his advice. Shan feels their confidence and their spirits lift as he goes about his work. He takes pride in pleasing clients and hearing their remarks as he glides and moves around them. He wants them to actually say, “I’m looking good” to their image in a mirror.
'Shan & Joy' — the Alton Derby party (Sat May 1, 2021)
Shan & Joy,
My little car got a scrubbing and a polishing it needed. It was a 4-5 hour project. All the bending and stretching provided pain and required several breaks for water and resting. Bending and stretching discovered new and old places of discomfort.
During one break I mapped out a plan to go to the Derby party in downtown Alton. I reviewed the 20 [two-year-old] thoroughbreds in the race scheduled to start at 5:47 p.m.
After a shower and beard trim I found a colorful and comfortable pair of blue khakis and the grey Skywalker T, just washed, Puma sneakers, and a new sporty cap/hat. I wore the dark shades you gave me (first time) and headed downtown. I caught a welcomed ride on a converted golf cart to the sound of music and a gathering crowd in the street.
Grills were smoking, people were milling, a band was playing, and here and there laughter was inviting everyone to THE PARTY sponsored by Mac's Bar.
'Shan has been a salon owner since Anna, IL'
Shan has been a salon owner since his first at-home shop in Anna, IL His shop was decorated superbly; it was colorful, had music, and great products. He is a wizard at adapting space to meet the needs of his clients. He made it a pleasant place to visit, listen to music, have fun, and look really, really good. He honed skills and learned the importance of quality designed tools and great products. He moved to Saint Louis and started working at a company hair cutting shop. The common welcome was; “Take a number, have a seat and we’ll get to you soon.” He knew top salons in the area had clients that kept on coming back because they wanted to look great after a skilled stylist had spent the time for a professional look. He would move on and find just the right place and made it into a unique salon and a decorator touch to the space. A giant twelve foot mirror was incredible and gathered immediate and admiring attention. The shop was apply named “Through the Looking Glass.” Shan’s clients felt good when they came in and felt better when they left. He had found a home and clients continued to come in. They wanted to look into the mirror and say, “I’m looking good.” ‘And because of Shan’s remarkable skills they did.
'Shan, the Story Worth question…' – to Shan
Shan, the Story Worth question a few weeks ago was, “Who would you like to have dinner with”? Or something close to that. Here are a few. It is understood that communication would not be a problem regardless of the nationality or difference in language or words. Joan of Ark. At 17 (Or 19? she led a French army to victory. 16th century? It was a religious war. She was 19 she died by fire. I know I’ve skimmed, but she is an interesting person. Charles Darwin. He was a science explorer and had a theory of evolution. He may have been the first American to write about evolution of animals and man. James Audubon would be welcomed to my table. Thomas Jefferson. At age 33 – 38. He was a difficult man to understand . I believe he was a narcissistic person. He did not ask or want help in writing the Constitution. I believe he was careful and made changes to it as to reference of race. I studied him for years and visited his home. Mark Twain. America’s greatest writer? I believe he ranks somewhere near the top, maybe first. He wrote 71 books. I’ve read more than 30. Humor and wit was his style. He wrote fiction. Twain bought the rights to publish the autobiography of U.S. Grant. Grant’s book was considered the best book about the American Civil War. He was near death when Mark bought his rights for $500,000. Grant died three days after he finished his book. Twain’s purchase kept Grant’s family from bankruptcy. ASTA SADAKULAS had a collection of Mark Twain’s books and gave them to me. I believe Asta was getting rid of things that she would not use and books that she would not read again. She died far too soon. It saddened me. I wrote about her and it was published. She had the most courage of any one I knew. I would include her as someone to invite to dinner. I loved her so. No one taught me more than Asta.
Shelly Lenhart, Jay Domen's sister (profile)
Shelly Lenhart, Jay Domen’s sister, lives in Florida. She and her husband, Brett, have two children, Hannah and Jacob. Shelly taught several years at an elite school in Ponte Verde, Florida. She is now in administration at the school. On a visit a few years back with my son, Shan, over Christmas holidays at their home in Florida, Shelly commented on my story telling She said she liked my stories because of the detail and colorful way I told them. It was a compliment. She said I had an unusual style. She called it a ‘superior autobiographical memory.’ Shan and Jay invited me to accompany them to a Christmas party just this past Christmas eve (12/24/21) at the home of Hannah and Seth Lovely who have a beautiful home in West Palm Beach Florida. At the party I asked Shelly what a superior autobiographical memory was. She said that I could remember minute details, even colors, and personalities even at a very early age. As early as four, she added. I have been writing for upwards of 70 years. I’m 81. Some of my stories go back to when I was very young. WWII ended in August (Japanese surrendered) in 1945. I wrote about a dream I had before the war ended, and another one on the day it was announced to America that WWII ended. I was four – almost five. I wrote the stories in late 1990’s. A lot of my stories were about living in Southern Illinois. Many of them were published in daily or weekly newspapers. The characters and story lines are true. I still write, not because I can, but because I feel compelled to write about people who were and are my friends. I’ve virtually stopped writing; wanting to turn my attention to improving health and my surroundings – my apartment especially. The visit to Florida this year gave me an opportunity to write about new friends and old friends too. I asked each person at the party to give me their name, and address and I would send them a story. I liked all of them. It seemed a way I could say thank you for inviting me to be at the party. This is the first time I have considered writing about about people I hardly know. Today, I’ve summoned courage to write about them. This introduction will be sent to each person who gave me their name and address at the party. I’m going to send each one a profile of themselves only. I’m on tip-toes now. My writing help me remember each person. I hope I see them again and that they will tell me another story.
The Life-Review: On Fatherhood
Finally, finally, I fell in Love. My first time? Barb was bright, beautiful, and ambitious — and Loved me, for, she said, so was I.
I married Barb a month before I was 30. It's not fair to say I retreated. Commitment and fidelity are my admirable traits, and both were used in my 2.1+ years of marriage that gave me a wonderful Son. Shanon, now Shan, was fragile, barely 5 Lb 7 oz at birth. He was also strong, resilient and bold. He remains this person with me.
My Second marriage Ended almost exactly three Years after it began. We were married on the Court House Steps in Mt. Vernon, where Abe Lincoln had stood three-quarters of a century before that 1995 date. The Baggage (how I hate that word) Vicki and I brought to the Union was too much for us.
My Son, now Lived in St. Louis, had come out, and was surprised that I Loved him as much as I had since 2/1/1972.
The Strawberry Patch — 'It's OK, Dad'
Judi,
Ask For Strength. Ask for Energy. Put your smile on. Your Character will shine through. Do Something for someone — that isn't the Object.
At mom's funeral I sat solemn and reflective on the times I spent with her. She saved the first ripe Strawberry for me by covering it with straw a few days before it was full ripe. She made all of her 8 children feel special.
After the church service I went to the barbed-wire fence at the rear of the church. Looking north, I could see the strawberry Patch in the Crick of the homestead. Tears ran down my Cheeks. Shan touched my right shoulder and I turned to him. "It's OK, Dad, it's OK." I whispered "Thank you."
Then, he said, "You've got to turn and face your problems now." And I'll spare you of more stories.
A short Time Later I divorced his mom. I kept him.
'Then Jay came along and that changed everything'
Then Jay came along and that changed everything. They led individual lives but they became a team; a couple. After a few good years, buying and selling their “nothing like it” family home they had completely remodeled and moved to Boston. Shan was not idle and looked for a place he could again do his magic. Boston is not like Anna, nor St. Louis. It’s an expensive place to live. It’s also home to more than half of the population of Massachusetts. It is an international city, a financial center, and more colleges than the entire midwest. Shan chose to work for a “Thanks for coming we’ll be right with you’’ money moving salon. He still had eyes to again have his own salon. As soon as he could he stepped up his search and found a place he would again operate a professional salon. Co-vid 19 came along and shook up the world. Shan is determined to operate his salon. He wants and needs a stylist who has professional skills land someone with a kind nature, good character and is reliable.
To My Son, Shan
To my son, Shan, thank you for your patience, humor, love and advice. Like, follow your own path, but always be there for others.
May the steps you take lead to happiness and a more just world. You have always believed in me and lifted me up. | can not imagine a better person to work with through this life than you.
Writing is not a penalty. As | struggled to write, | learned it is a gift. Talking writing and science with you is one of my favorite parts of writing this book.
| have written an introduction to the book, and a middle, and the ending. Now | will write about the in between time.
'To my son, Shan, thank you…'
To my son, Shan, thank you for your patience, humor, love and advice. Like, follow your own path, but always be there for others. May the steps you take lead to happiness and a more just world. You have always believed in me and lifted me up. I can not imagine a better person to work with through this life than you. Writing is not a penalty. As I struggled to write, I learned it is a gift. Talking writing and science with you is one of my favorite parts of writing this book. I have written an introduction to the book, and a middle, and the ending. Now I will write about the in between time.
To Shan ('you have endured more pain, prejudice…')
Shan, you have endured more pain, prejudice, saw more hate and injustice than anyone I know. You have also loved deeper and enjoyed life as you inspired those who know and love you. I do. Dad
J 29/2020
To/About Shanon Casey ('My Life Is Rosy')
SHANON CASEY
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Stories My Father Wrote · the For Shan, My Son volume · kept by Shan Casey